This morning, after two days of hiatus—aka internet shutdown—the net came back. I opened my eyes, stretched like a yogi… and there it was. The glowing monster, the one that drains life faster than any vampire—my phone screen, full of notifications. And like a true damsel in distress, I whispered, “Oh God, he’s back… INTERNET Dracula is back!”

The thing about this Dracula is, he doesn’t suck blood—he sucks up my time. One scroll, and I’d be lost in reels while my to-do list laughed from the corner. Garlic won’t work, holy water won’t work—the only cure is switching off Wi-Fi, which feels like amputation.

With Dracula around, I always had lectures pending, chores piling up, books unread—responsibilities long enough to circle the earth twice. And instead of finishing them, I’d make excuses, because honestly, if humans had an Olympic sport, it would be excuse-making.

When the net disappeared, panic set in. But once the dust settled, miracle of miracles—I actually did things. I dusted off books, read two, cleaned cupboards like it was Diwali, even did a bit of gardening. For a brief moment, I felt like Mother Teresa’s long-lost cousin, radiating usefulness instead of binge-watching cats in sunglasses.

Then, of course, Dracula returned. The internet was back, fangs sharper than ever, whispering, “Welcome back, darling… let’s waste three hours together.” Still, I had my tiny victory: I didn’t die without social media, my daughter survived my silence, and life went on. No apocalypse.

So here I am again—two books richer, cupboards cleaner, but still living with Dracula in my pocket. Unlike real vampires, this one doesn’t sneak in; I invite him in every single morning—with one tap.

But this time, I’m determined to find that elusive garlic to get rid of the D. So until I do, if you don’t see me around, don’t worry—I’m probably slaying vampires… or worse, giving them Wi-Fi.

— Suvi’s Scribbles

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